I No Longer Hear Your Words
I no longer hear you. For most of my life, people like you have told me I’m wrong, bad, or stupid for believing the way I do. When I was younger, I thought your disagreement was simply because you hadn’t been shown what I’ve seen. So, I sought to show you. That didn’t work. Then I figured evidence from outside sources would get the job done. In every case, those sources had something wrong with them. Now, I watch as actual, credible real facts are discounted as somehow unworthy, and I, I am deficient or evil for even speaking about them out loud.
How dare you.
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
Matthew 5:13 (KJV)
I have carried automatic weapons on three continents. I have watched my own blood spill. I have spent time in the company of great men who went on to do amazing things in the world. I have struggled with things you will never know about, and I have come out victorious, yet I am judged lesser, my ways unworthy of being allowed even to exist for no other reason than because I disagree with you.
How dare you.
I have done everything I can think of, including prayer, to help you understand my position. At this point, I understand that you no longer wish just to let me live my life, my way. Now I realize that when I was younger and thought you just wanted to be allowed to live your life, letting me live my life, I was naive. You have no intention of allowing me the freedom to live my life the way I want.
You do not believe what I believe, that simple fact that in life I can live my life the way I see fit and you can live your life the way you see fit, and the world will keep turning. For some reason, you see my disagreement with how you’ve chosen to live as something that must be expunged, rubbed out, and extinguished by any means necessary. For some reason me simply living a free existence disagreeing with you is somehow a threat to you. I have given up trying to reach you because every time, every single time I bring up a moral equivalence, there is something about it that is wrong. There is not one single person on my side of things you are willing to point to as acceptable, doing things right, or that you are willing to leave in peace.
I was content to leave you alone to pursue your ways, but you were not content to do the same.
I no longer hear your words. Your platitudes no longer have any power to sway my opinions. I turn my back on the totality of your ideas and salt the earth behind me as I walk away from them. The causes and reasons for my intractability rest with you, but of course, that will somehow be my fault as well.
If you think I’m writing this to you specifically, then perhaps some introspection is in order. I had no one in particular in mind as I wrote these words. Still, if you feel defensive or somehow begin to formulate a counterargument you plan to post, I suggest you reread that last paragraph and then look inward rather than outward. I wish you luck with that last bit. I truly do.